The Tell-Tale Thump in the Night

It started out like any other evening.

After a long day of work and other errands, I settled down on my couch. A brief stint playing a video game turned into reading a book of short stories, which eventually progressed into exhaustion. The midnight witching hour wasn't too far off by the time I dragged myself upstairs to get ready for bed. I eased under the covers and opened my second book - a Jane Austen, and a challenge - for one last quick read before succumbing to the blank nothingness of not-quite-enough sleep ahead of doing it all over again the next day.

As I scoured through Austen's densely-packed words, I knew I'd hit the jackpot when I began uncomprehendingly reading the same paragraph over and over again. It's time to give it up for the night, I told myself. You'll finish the chapter tomorrow. I closed the book, both reluctant and satisfied, and turned off the light. Time to drift.

Thump thump thump thump.

My eyes jolted open. Had I imagined the noise? What time is it? About 1:15 am, I noted. I was alarmed, but not overly concerned. Probably just house noises, I meditated. Could be the wind. Maybe traffic noise? A trash can lid. Something innocuous, no doubt. It won't happen again... but I'll listen just in case.

Thump thump thump thump.

My heart jumped into my throat. What on earth could that be, at this time of night? It sounds like someone pounding on a door... but why now? And really, wouldn't they ring the doorbell, if it was urgent? I reasoned. I check my phone - no missed calls or texts.

Do I get up? I thought. If it's not someone knocking - and even if it is - then it's someone breaking in, isn't it? On the other hand, I considered, wouldn't they be louder if they were breaking and entering? If I assume the worst, I argued with myself, then someone is slowly and methodically prying my house apart to work their way in. Do I really want to run into them, in the middle of the night?

Thump thump thump thump.

It's not stopping. If I don't go investigate, I'll never get back to sleep. I sat on the edge of my bed. And this is exactly what EVERY victim in EVERY horror movie EVER said RIGHT BEFORE THEY DIED. I sighed. I'll just start by getting up, making a little noise by walking to the bathroom, and I'll see if it happens aga-

Thump thump thump thump.

Ok, I resolved. That settles it. I have to know. It's just a noise - no evidence yet, no reason to panic, no need to call anyone and create unnecessary worry. I pulled out my metal baseball bat. I can't fathom what it is or why I can hear it so well, but I'll 'grand slam' whatever is out there or I'll prove it's nothing and maybe I'll still be able to get some sleep tonight. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't?

I gingerly opened the door and flipped on the light to the landing. So far, nothing to cause alarm. Light scares away predators, I mused. Or... does it attract them like a moth to a flame?

I crept down the stairs, phone in one hand, bat in the other. A real life Nancy Wheeler, I rolled my eyes. A demogorgon would sure hate to run into you alone in the dark. I quickly flipped on the living room light and scoured my house while remaining stationary. Nothing.

Quelling the panic within, I took a seat on the couch, weapon across my knees. I'll just get my bearings for a moment, I reassured myself. I'm nothing if not patient. When the noise happens again, I'll isolate its location like a bat with echolocation. Yes, that's it - I'm Batman. The Dark Knight, steeling myself in the dark night. I laughed nervously... and I waited.

5 minutes. 10 minutes. 15 minutes. 20 minutes. Silence.

Well, I made it this far, I breathed. Whatever it was, it appeared to be gone - but I knew sleep wouldn't come without a complete search. Zoinks, Scoob! Looks like we've got another mystery on our hands. I eased up from my statue position and braced for the worst.

I crept all throughout my house flipping on lights, peering out windows, jabbing the baseball bat wildly in front of me. Nothing here nor there, and no signs of intelligent life anywhere. Hmph. I closed up shop, and left the outdoor lights on. That'll show those monsters.

Clutching my bat, I trudged back up the stairs, resigned but relieved. I was a little jittery, but it was better than still lying frozen in terror in my bed, drenched in sweat and trying to comfort myself with suppositions, all in vain. No sense in making it easy, though - I locked my bedroom door behind me, turned off the light, and climbed into bed, bat by my side. I'll be ready when the thumps come back, I murmured, sighing deeply and closing my eyes. Just you wait and see.